Autumn

So, after taking the summer off from blogging. I thought I'd update ya'll on what I've been up to.

This is truly a season of change in my life. In the past 6 months I have:

Graduated.
Moved home.
Started a big-girl job.
Moved out. (around the block)
Gotten married. (!!!!)

Phew.

All I know is that the changing of the leaves is so representative of the stage of life I'm in.

I knew that this fall would look completely different than anything I had ever been used to. And I love it!
I will be the first one to admit that I am completely spoiled rotton. (:
My job is flexible and fun, I have the most wonderful husband in the universe, we have been blessed with the most perfect cozy little house, and we are surrounded by friends and family. Life is just awesome. And I can't stop thinking about the Lord's goodness.

So here are a few photos from my favorite day this summer, August 14. Taken by Ali Williamson. She is one awesome photographer. Check her out.

The Last

April and May have been filled with nothing but "lasts." Everything is the "LAST TIME..." The last time I'll skip class. The last time I'll complain about the PINK house falling apart. The last time I'll see most of the people that have made JMU so special to me. My last time studying at Greenberry's (which is what I'm supposed to be doing right now).

While having my whole life seemingly ahead of me and having endless possibilities is something to be really really excited about, I can't help but feel a twinging sense of sadness in the pit of my stomach.

I keep asking myself if I have any regrets about the past four years. Did I take advantage of all of JMU and Harrisonburg? Did I get coffee with all the people I said I was going to? Did I cross off all of my bucket list items? Did I make time for friends?

There are some people I don't think I could ever make enough time for. I think that is what makes me the most sad. I could never spend enough time with my housemates, my small group, or the people I've lived with in the past.

Life is about to look a lot different. All I can do is be thankful for those people I could never get enough of and know that I'll see them in August!

My First Wedding Nightmare.

So I've been told by a few friends that the closer the big day is, the more frightening dreams seem to pop up. Dreams like, the wedding being in your room instead of at the church, the groom showing up in pjs, and other horrid disasters.

Recently I experienced my very first wedding nightmare. With 130 Days, 1 Hour, 37 Minutes, and approximately 9 Seconds, no wait 4... uh 1.... Who's counting anyway...
I had my very own disaster dream.

It went something like this.

I was at Fosters with Chris (my real life fiance), my mom, and another man who was my dream fiance. He was old. I mean like really old. Like has teenagers of his own-old. Okay, maybe he wasn't like grandpa-old, but he was certainly much older than me.

I couldn't figure out why I was engaged to him though. Everyone kept congratulating us and said cute things like, "you two are peeeerrrfecttt!" But something in my gut was just so horrified. I kept looking at Chris wanting to scream, "But I love HIM!" However, I was too afraid of being dramatic. So I sat, in panic, trying to figure out how to break the news to my mom that I wanted to marry Chris instead.

When old guy-dream fiance got up to use the bathroom, (apparently my mom disappeared at this point too), I looked at Chris and finally sobbed, "This is just not right! I can't do this!!!" Quietly he held me and said, "I know baby, I'll take care of it. Don't worry!"

I was so relieved.

I'm not much for dream interpretation. But I just know, if this was real, he really would take care of everything, just because that's the kind of man he is. It is such a blessing and encouragement to have him in my life. God is just too good!

Encouragement from my Teenage-Self

So instead of studying for my Spanish test tomorrow, (awesome) I decided to read over old journals from middle and high school. I read over an entry I had wrote after I had an experience with God. I was in Ecuador and it was the summer before my senior year. My friends and I got to talking one night about our lives, and suddenly the Lord met us. We all burst into tears and just worshiped him until about 4am. It was incredible. And this is what I wrote...

"I asked to be broken.
I broke.
I asked to be filled.
You filled me.
I was lost.
You found me.
My heart was hard, you made it soft.
I asked for you, and I found you.
I was dry and you opened the floodgates.

How can I express my gratitude? There are no human words to give you, so I will give you my heart and my life. Forever you are faithful. There is no reason to doubt. There is no reason to worry. If you seek his face, you will find it. If you ask, it will be given."

Be encouraged people, the Lord is faithful:)

Day 22

There is really nothing quite like day 22 of a 21 day fast...

Breakfast consisted of a glorious Egg McMuffin, and lunch was a cheeseburger, greasy fries, and a chocolate milkshake. The milkshake I actually was having dreams about.

Glorious.

So for 21 days I've been fasting with the sound. I did the Daniel fast, and for those of you who aren't familiar, there is no meat, dairy, or any non-whole wheat grains. Quite do-able, yet so hard...

I realized something, well, a lot of somethings. The most important though is that I am not really all that good. I mean I try to be good. Yet, even when I think I'm being good, I'm not. And, anything that is good in me, is from God. I realized this during week one when I ate a piece of red velvet cupcake at work. whoops.

[John 15:5-6 Dwell in Me, and I will dwell in you. [Live in Me, and I will live in you.] Just as no branch can bear fruit of itself without abiding in (being vitally united to) the vine, neither can you bear fruit unless you abide in Me.I am the Vine; you are the branches. Whoever lives in Me and I in him bears much (abundant) fruit. However, apart from Me [cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing.]

Truly, I am nothing without Christ. I can't even follow a special diet for three weeks. Sometimes I can get so caught up in "trying to be good." I go to church every Sunday, I do my homework (usually), and I try so hard to "be better." But the truth is, without Christ, everything I try, fails!

Good news is, Christ is living in me! :) woohoo! I don't have to "try" to make myself better, He wants to do it for me. I just have to surrender myself to him, and He does all that hard work. Eventually, when I abide in Him, He is the natural overflow of my life.

Why don't I just do that ALL the time? Seriously, there is rest and peace in Christ. "Trying" is exhausting. I give up trying my hardest all the time.

So here's to resting in all the Lord has provided for me this weekend...chocolate milkshakes, steak, and venti skim lattes.

surprise

God is so good.

These verses have been ringing in my head the past few days.

Matthew 7:7-11

"Keep on asking and it will be given you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking [reverently] and [the door] will be opened to you.

For everyone who keeps on asking receives; and he who keeps on seeking finds; and to him who keeps on knocking, [the door] will be opened.

Or what man is there of you, if his son asks him for a loaf of bread, will hand him a stone?

Or if he asks for a fish, will hand him a serpent?

If you then, evil as you are, know how to give good and advantageous gifts to your children, how much more will your Father Who is in heaven [perfect as He is] give good and advantageous things to those who keep on asking Him!"

About a week ago, after engagement butterflies started settling and the wedding budget started looming over my head, I found myself discouraged and upset. I felt selfish for feeling this way. I almost didn't want to admit it. Especially to a God who hates selfishness. But I did anyway. Slowly and shyly, I confessed to him my fear of being disappointed, my fear of not being able to afford my dreams.

I then began to think of all of God's provision. When have I ever been disappointed? When have I ever been lacking? God has provided a way for all of my dreams, even when I think they are selfish dreams.

Last summer, I decided in April to go to India in May. With absolutely zero money, I prayed for the generosity of others. The day before the money was due, God had provided every penny... and more!

Two years ago, I felt hopeless and heartbroken. What I thought was God's will turned out to be my own. Disappointed does not even begin to describe how I felt. A month later, Christopher walked into my life. God gave me my dreams... and MORE!

To be honest, I could not think of any time in my life where the Lord did not surpass my expectations.

So in faith, I prayed. Specifically, I prayed that I could pick up more shifts at work, for the Lord's blessing with my parent's work, that people would be struck with generosity, and that within my dad's vast network of people he knows there would be people who could provide certain services.

Whaddoyaknow. Not kidding, DAYS later, I found a pretty dress [WITHIN BUDGET!!!], I found a photographer [WITHIN BUDGET!!!!! I didn't think this would happen...], I found a venue [WITHIN BUDGET!!!! and it's more than I ever dreamed], I had people offer me things I haven't even thought of, like calligraphy....as a gift! I was able to pick up an extra shift, and so was my mom [this is truly a miracle].

This is just the beginning people.


Jesus wants to exceed our expectations. The doors will open when we KEEP ON knocking. Feeling hopeless is not an option. How great is his love for us! I am so in awe of how he moves. I seriously can't believe it.

oh how I love his surprises.

winter

Normally, winter break is my time to be lazy, watch mindless tv shows, and sleep.

But this break is different. Cause I got ENGAGED!


www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qx4QDu80X9g

So instead, I've been visiting pretty ranches, cutting out flowers from magazines, and trying on white fluffy dresses. :)