Day 22

There is really nothing quite like day 22 of a 21 day fast...

Breakfast consisted of a glorious Egg McMuffin, and lunch was a cheeseburger, greasy fries, and a chocolate milkshake. The milkshake I actually was having dreams about.

Glorious.

So for 21 days I've been fasting with the sound. I did the Daniel fast, and for those of you who aren't familiar, there is no meat, dairy, or any non-whole wheat grains. Quite do-able, yet so hard...

I realized something, well, a lot of somethings. The most important though is that I am not really all that good. I mean I try to be good. Yet, even when I think I'm being good, I'm not. And, anything that is good in me, is from God. I realized this during week one when I ate a piece of red velvet cupcake at work. whoops.

[John 15:5-6 Dwell in Me, and I will dwell in you. [Live in Me, and I will live in you.] Just as no branch can bear fruit of itself without abiding in (being vitally united to) the vine, neither can you bear fruit unless you abide in Me.I am the Vine; you are the branches. Whoever lives in Me and I in him bears much (abundant) fruit. However, apart from Me [cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing.]

Truly, I am nothing without Christ. I can't even follow a special diet for three weeks. Sometimes I can get so caught up in "trying to be good." I go to church every Sunday, I do my homework (usually), and I try so hard to "be better." But the truth is, without Christ, everything I try, fails!

Good news is, Christ is living in me! :) woohoo! I don't have to "try" to make myself better, He wants to do it for me. I just have to surrender myself to him, and He does all that hard work. Eventually, when I abide in Him, He is the natural overflow of my life.

Why don't I just do that ALL the time? Seriously, there is rest and peace in Christ. "Trying" is exhausting. I give up trying my hardest all the time.

So here's to resting in all the Lord has provided for me this weekend...chocolate milkshakes, steak, and venti skim lattes.

surprise

God is so good.

These verses have been ringing in my head the past few days.

Matthew 7:7-11

"Keep on asking and it will be given you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking [reverently] and [the door] will be opened to you.

For everyone who keeps on asking receives; and he who keeps on seeking finds; and to him who keeps on knocking, [the door] will be opened.

Or what man is there of you, if his son asks him for a loaf of bread, will hand him a stone?

Or if he asks for a fish, will hand him a serpent?

If you then, evil as you are, know how to give good and advantageous gifts to your children, how much more will your Father Who is in heaven [perfect as He is] give good and advantageous things to those who keep on asking Him!"

About a week ago, after engagement butterflies started settling and the wedding budget started looming over my head, I found myself discouraged and upset. I felt selfish for feeling this way. I almost didn't want to admit it. Especially to a God who hates selfishness. But I did anyway. Slowly and shyly, I confessed to him my fear of being disappointed, my fear of not being able to afford my dreams.

I then began to think of all of God's provision. When have I ever been disappointed? When have I ever been lacking? God has provided a way for all of my dreams, even when I think they are selfish dreams.

Last summer, I decided in April to go to India in May. With absolutely zero money, I prayed for the generosity of others. The day before the money was due, God had provided every penny... and more!

Two years ago, I felt hopeless and heartbroken. What I thought was God's will turned out to be my own. Disappointed does not even begin to describe how I felt. A month later, Christopher walked into my life. God gave me my dreams... and MORE!

To be honest, I could not think of any time in my life where the Lord did not surpass my expectations.

So in faith, I prayed. Specifically, I prayed that I could pick up more shifts at work, for the Lord's blessing with my parent's work, that people would be struck with generosity, and that within my dad's vast network of people he knows there would be people who could provide certain services.

Whaddoyaknow. Not kidding, DAYS later, I found a pretty dress [WITHIN BUDGET!!!], I found a photographer [WITHIN BUDGET!!!!! I didn't think this would happen...], I found a venue [WITHIN BUDGET!!!! and it's more than I ever dreamed], I had people offer me things I haven't even thought of, like calligraphy....as a gift! I was able to pick up an extra shift, and so was my mom [this is truly a miracle].

This is just the beginning people.


Jesus wants to exceed our expectations. The doors will open when we KEEP ON knocking. Feeling hopeless is not an option. How great is his love for us! I am so in awe of how he moves. I seriously can't believe it.

oh how I love his surprises.

winter

Normally, winter break is my time to be lazy, watch mindless tv shows, and sleep.

But this break is different. Cause I got ENGAGED!


www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qx4QDu80X9g

So instead, I've been visiting pretty ranches, cutting out flowers from magazines, and trying on white fluffy dresses. :)