A picture is worth a thousand words

and I have so much to say...

I love him. :)

and I really love these people too.

:)

Organic Chemstry.

I am not a morning person.

However, it's not as bad as I thought. But I would NEVER do it willingly. My only coherent thoughts at 7am are, "one second, I just need to finish this dream," and "I need to get a bigger coffee cup."

With my troubles of the morning aside, taking summer classes is... depressing. What possessed myself to say, "Of course I'd like to sacrifice two of my precious summer months to devote myself to organic chemistry!" Yeah...that was not me speaking.

It's really easy toss the quiet times and move your sleeping bag into the library. Which is one of my biggest struggles. It is so easy for me to look to my grades, the books, my time spent studying as my identity and my worth as a person. But what we do doesn't define us, does it? Is it our attitudes about life that define us? I would argue that our relationship with our savior defines us. He is, after all, the creator. He's the one that gave us purpose, life, breathe.

So in turn, I should be excited and bursting at the seams, ready to devour all the vast knowledge of organic chemistry. I should see it as Christ's mission for me this summer. To apply his gospel to my schoolwork. What does that even mean?

I'm thinking that it means this. When Christ created the world it was perfect, beautiful, and full of peace. He created knowledge to be understood and to be applied. But the fall came, and now things are confusing, misinterpreted. Teachers aren't teachers because they want to impart this knowledge, but instead they teach for pride, self-exhalation, and maybe money. (maybe not? but generally speaking they make SOMETHING) Instead of eager students, we are lazy. We cheat, and we definitely do the bare minimum. Who wants to actually pull those weeds that were cursed upon the earth? But when Christ came to redeem us and our hopelessly ignorant society, he gave us a way to overcome the weeds and study, learn, and find truth! So, that means I'm going to have to do some tilling. I'm going to have to find out what Christ wants from a student. Someone willing, eager, and ready to devour truth.

Bring it on OCHEM! :)

let's fly

let's fly, originally uploaded by b4RuCH1N.

So if you weren't aware the name of my blog "The Safest Ledge" is actually a song my most favorite band ever. Copeland. Some favorite quotes:

"Don't look ahead, just run to me
Each step will find the next one recklessly
We'll find ourselves on the safest ledge"

"Could you be happy to fall like a stone
If you'd land right here safe in my arms?"

"The sun burns a hole straight through your old flaws
If you look toward the sky even on your greyest night"


I love it. Falling in love with Christ is the safest ledge. We fall. We abandon ourselves. We let go. We jump. We don't know if our next steps will lead us to solid ground, or broken bones. But we do it. And Christ meets us there. We land safe in his arms.

This is how I'm feeling.

, originally uploaded by a n n y.

I just love this. When my world is dark, Lord you are a rainbow of promise!

I'll be the iron...

It's been a frustrating day.

And this is when I begin to cower in my fears. Why are people so selfish? Why am I so selfish? Hypocritical, I know, but I'm just going to say it. Sometimes I feel like I am way more invested in people than they are in me. For a few close friends I would throw my comforts to the wind to accommodate to them. But my needs in the friendship are not always met. And then, I close. I stop. I abandon ship.

I want to break this habit of shutting down my emotions. Why can't I just explain, Use my words to show them my heart. I always insist that my actions (usually passive) will clue them. Nope. This is NOT true. I used to be so proud that people couldn't see my hurt. When I was upset, no one could see. I thought that this was my greatest strength. I could not have been more wrong.

So here I am, giving this over to the Lord. I know you are the hands that hold the iron that will smooth this wrinkle in our friendship. I'll be the iron. As long as you'll hold me!

Enough is Enough

First off. I have to apologize. I am realizing tonight how fearful I am. Even writing this I am tempted not to post it. Guarded and scared, I seldom let anyone see my heart. I complain that my relationships barely pass the surface, and now my eyes have begun to open. Even in this blog I am impersonal and my words fall from the page without any sound. This is not how I was created. The Lord created our body as a home for our souls. They are supposed to work in unity as the body reflects the soul and glorifies Him. I want my soul to be freed from this wall it has become trapped behind. God allow my body to glorify you as it reflects my heart, my soul, and everything within me. Fear has been purposed by the evil one to render us ineffective for the Lord's plans. God I desire only what you would have for my life, and I realize this requires BOLDNESS. Thank you for being my source of strength, I can't function without you. I'm coming out of hiding. I want to be who you created me to be. all the time. without fear. I desire to speak when I feel uncomfortable. I want to glorify you in every activity of my life. At 1:35 AM when I'm fighting sleep, I want you to be praised. When I fall into the patterns of life that I feel so comfortable in, I want to raise my hands to you. You alone are my joy. my peace. You give my purpose and life. You are the author of life. I want to live. Live in freedom and the joy that comes from your perfect love. I want to desire you the way you desire me. I want to love you with every breath. I don't want to hide. I no longer will live in fear, but in your grace.

You are enough.